


Small Town Lives

by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 11:23:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1345669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinah and Slade both fell hard, but when he came home from Basic, where was she? The answers are not ones he's going to like finding out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happy Idylls

**Author's Note:**

> The warnings are because there are teens making sexual decisions for themselves and because of an off-screen incident. Nothing graphically violent.

Their first meeting hit them as hard as anything else about either of them. Literally. He'd been trying to get to football practice, and she'd been half-turned around as she ran, yelling back at her teammates, not watching where she was going in the least. The impact staggered them both, and he had to settle his arms around the little bit of nothing girl who had all but run him over. Once he had her caught, he wound up looking down into the bright blue eyes of a girl he didn't even recognize.

"So sorry," she quickly said, catching her balance against his chest and smiling up at him once she had it. "I didn't mean to run you over. Tend to save that for the other team."

"That's okay." He was already running late, he needed to get over there before Coach Hall started yelling his way. So why couldn't he pull away from her, take his hands off her shoulders? "Didn't see you, or I might have dodged you," he admitted. "Some kind of player I am, if I run into a tackle?"

She laughed at that, smile broken all across her face, and the football player decided between the sound of it and the fact he had no idea who she was, it might not be a bad idea to find out more. 

"Name's Slade," he drawled at her, finally taking his hands off her.

"Dinah... and I think Coach wants you," she said as she looked past him, her eyes lighting up merrily. "Maybe I'll see you before I run into you next time?"

"Maybe." He jogged over to his team, taking the dressing down from the coach with good grace, and just kind of wondered who the girl was as he ran through the drills. He thought he knew all the girls in their age group, small as their town was. Where had she come from, that he didn't know her at all? Practice rolled on, and eventually they got released to the locker rooms once Coach was satisfied for the day.

"Barry?" Slade asked, turning to his best friend of the last decade at least. "Who was that girl that ran me over?"

Barry rolled his eyes at the other boy, shaking his head at Slade's habit of attracting any girl in his area. "Man, you and your eye on the girls. I didn't see it happen."

"I did." Michael shuddered melodramatically, raking his hand through his blond hair. "You need to steer clear of her, man."

The junior quarterback looked at his sophomore back-up with a raised eyebrow. "Why? Who is she?"

"She's Dinah Lance," Michael said, as if that explained everything.

"Oh, her?" Barry asked, incredulous. "I forgot the Catholic school only went to eighth. She would be back for her freshman year, wouldn't she?"

Slade groaned, shaking his head. "Just a frosh? Damn." 

That got some of the other boys to laughing at his tone, even the scattered seniors. It was a complaint a few of them had made, after all. 

"Even if she wasn't, Slade, you wouldn't want to date her. Her mom..." Michael shook his head. "I asked her to a dance back in sixth grade. Just a little thing at one of the local churches. Her mom said not just no, but hell no. _Totally_ psychotic about protecting her kid from boys and temptation."

"I'm kind of surprised you'd never heard of her, anyway," Carter spoke up. "She competes at the state level in judo. Shayera bouts her every so often."

That got Slade intrigued, more than he really wanted to be, given that she was just a freshman girl. More than likely, he wouldn't see her again anytime soon. Besides, there were always pretty girls when you were one of the tallest in your class, smart, and gifted. Give him a few days, and he would find some girl to start seeing, he was sure.

* * *

The second meeting wasn't quite the same collision as their first had been. She was coming around a corner, and he was about to duck into his class, but both were aware of the hallway rush enough to avoid the actual collision.

"Oh, hi." She smiled at him again, dazzlingly bright, and he wondered just when he had lost his mind. He was too busy with football, with honors classes, with his ROTC to even think about the headache a freshman could be.

But damn, she was pretty. And an athlete. Just his type, when he really admitted it to himself.

"Hello," he replied, pausing just outside Mr. Tyler's class.

"I wanted to apologize again for running you over the other day," she said, her blue eyes sincere and her books hugged close to her chest. "I'm not usually that bad."

"No problem, Dinah," he told her, and the way her cheeks flushed at his remembering her name was enough to tell him she'd learned just who he was.

"See you around?" she asked, half inviting in her tone.

"I think I'd like that," Slade heard himself say long before he could manage to question his sanity again.

* * *

He stopped by the library a few days later, after being told that the girl he couldn't seem to stop thinking about was one of the after school tutors in there. He did need to find the book he needed for his English paper, but seeing her had become something of a quest. It wasn't that he wanted to date her, he told himself. He just wanted to get to know her, to learn if she really was the judo champ Carter claimed she was, and just how the shortest girl he had ever seen could possibly be such a good goalie that she had taken the spot as soon as she came to their high school, over the established girl from the year before.

He kept telling himself that that was all he really wanted, just to slake his curiosity about her, so she would get off his mind.

When he found her tutoring one of the junior varsity players with patience and knowledgeable skill, he tossed a smile her way, and sat down nearby. She replied to the smile with one of her own, but kept drilling the basics of Mendel's theories into Guy's too-thick skull. Slade personally wondered which teacher hated her enough to set her up with Gardner as a student to help, but was impressed that she was managing to keep her temper in check at Guy's stubbornness.

When Guy finally left, she quickly started scooping up her papers and books, prompting him to move over and try to help. She turned at his intrusion into her space, and they bumped slightly, prompting smiles from her and a chuckle from him.

"You might give me more bruises than the guys do at practice," he said, keeping his voice low. The way she flushed for him made him feel even warmer toward her, and it was hard to deny just how strongly he was attracted to the girl. His brain kept telling him that it was just the newness of her pressing at him, it was just that he hadn't known her the whole time growing up like he did so many of the girls he had dated in the school.

"I'm sorry?" she offered, sounding mostly sincere, but there was a hint of amusement there too.

"Make it up to me, and come out to the Tastee Freeze Friday?" he asked her, while kicking himself in the rear for being anywhere near this idiotic.

She hesitated, looking torn between saying 'yes' and doing what she knew she was supposed to and saying 'no'. She made up her mind after a second, though, and nodded. "I can get my best friend to bring me out there. Four?"

"Sounds great."

* * *

That the 'best friend' in question turned out to be none other than the police chief's daughter was one more nail in the coffin of just why Slade really ought to have his head examined about this girl. He smiled and nodded at Barbara Gordon as he knew her a little despite her being another frosh, because Michael Carter sometimes dated her. When Ted Kord wasn't, anyway. Or when Michael and Ted were split up, or something. No one on the football team could really keep it straight from week to week just how things between their back-up quarterback, the head of the science club, and the freshman debate team leader were on any given day.

The two girls had claimed one of the picnic tables outside the shop, and it didn't take long for Slade to slide onto the bench opposite them. Barry, Iris, Michael, and Ted soon joined them, which let Slade just get to observe how Dinah acted with the rest of them. It seemed Iris and Barry knew Dinah's parents more than they knew her, something Slade would look into, while Ted and Michael were old friends with the girl, if a little distant.

Over the course of the conversation, Slade discovered that Dinah's father had been the man people thought would eventually be chief of police, before being shot in the line of duty and having to take medical retirement. He had taught Barbara's dad quite a bit, having been the man's partner for years. Her mom, who Michael seemed to patently fear, and Dinah teased a little for it, ran the town's flower shop, and was the daughter of the police chief from several years back, Old Man Drake as everyone called him.

Dinah, he learned then, was intent on becoming a cop like her father and grandfather.

"Is that why you study judo?" Slade asked, breaking in on top of the conversation before anyone could spin off on a tangent.

Dinah shook her head as her eyes lit with the love of her true sport. "No, I'd study it even if I wasn't going to the Academy after graduation. I've studied it ever since I tried a throw when I should have punched at my uncle."

"Your uncle is a fighter?" Slade asked.

"Her uncle's not just any fighter!" Ted said, his eyes going wide with surprise at Slade's lack of knowledge. "You know there's two ex-Olympians here in town, right?"

"I'd heard." Not many in their small town could have failed to know that, but they were part of the social circles Slade had no access to; given that his stepmother was a divorcee who had moved back to town with her boys in tow when Slade was young. Small town living had its rules, after all, and that broke most of them.

"Her uncle's Ted Grant, the boxer," Michael supplied helpfully.

Barbara laughed as Slade gave Dinah a disbelieving stare, and Dinah shrugged helplessly. "He uses his mother's maiden name to box, since Ted Drake didn't quite have the oomph he wanted, to hear him tell it," the redhead said helpfully.

"Aunt Polly...Hippolyta Troy, who runs the salle downtown, is his life partner, since they're naming my ties," Dinah added. 

"I'd hoped to be able to afford some lessons down there, given I don't want to just carry a saber in uniform; I'd love to know how to use it," Slade said ruefully.

"Slade here is going to enlist as soon as this year's up," Barry told the girls, shaking his head at his best friend. Iris rolled her eyes.

"He's been on the verge of enlisting ever since I met him," she said. "But he'll be the best damn soldier ever," she added, getting a sideways hug from the taller of the two blonds.

"I sign up this summer on the delayed entry program, so I can go straight to Basic after graduation," Slade admitted. "Between ROTC and the college I hope to get into, I might just find a fast track on promotions."

"I'm sure you'll do great," Dinah told him, and he got the feeling that being a man set on serving his country was no small thing in her eyes.

* * *

"You know, if you keep staring at her like that, your eyes are going to fall out," Barry teased. Slade had to refocus on his best friend, making himself pull his attention off the soccer team, specifically off the goalie as she came down from another impossibly high block shot.

"I'm not staring," Slade protested, even though he knew he had been.

"I'm starting to worry about you, Slade. It's been like six weeks since you asked a girl out," Barry told him. "Iris is wondering if she needs to call up her friends over in the city and get you set up with one of them."

Slade laughed at that, head tossed back with it. He had dated Iris back in junior high, and they'd stayed good friends, once Barry woke up and smelled the coffee enough to woo Iris back away from Slade. It wasn't that uncommon for Iris to be the one to introduce Slade to the girls he dated, because it meant she had already decided if they were worth his time—and she was normally right enough. 

"I'm good. Already got someone lined up for the dance this week." He just had to figure out how to ask her out, and to see if things were really as dire as Michael made them out to be. He didn't think one dance was such a bad idea, and so what if she was a freshman? It was just one dance. They had spent so much of the year running into each other, not always so literally, and talking whenever they had a chance. She had even invited him to her uncle's gym, and shown him a thing or two about how a tiny little thing like she was could mop the floor with most guys half-again her size. He'd appreciated the introduction to Mr. Grant, too. Of course, of all the introductions, he'd been most thankful to her for the one to Ms. Troy and negotiating a deal for him to do odd jobs at the salle in exchange for lessons.

Now it was into baseball season for him, and honest competition matches with the soccer team for her. He wondered, often, if it ever went to her head, the way he heard the other lower classmen talking about how much attention he paid to her. She seemed to honestly like him, though she had never really given him any of the signs the other girls did that she wanted more than just talking and company. In a lot of ways, it was learning to read her, learning to get past the good-girl reserve she held, that kept him coming around. So he told himself, though he did honestly enjoy the rousing debates and arguments they had on history, a shared love for the sports, or the discussions on just how the military and the police forces were alike.

"Earth to Slade Wilson," Barry called, having realized he had lost the thread of his friend's attention, yet _again_. "Hey man, we have got to get moving. You've got drill in ten, and I have to drive Iris into the city today."

"Yeah... okay." Slade grinned. "See you both tomorrow?"

"You got it." Barry jogged off once he was sure Slade was heading out toward the ROTC building. He would have to get his girlfriend to see just what was going on in Slade's head, and soon. Iris was sometimes better at figuring Slade out than he was.

* * *

Slade reached out, catching Dinah's wrist as she moved past to go to the cafeteria. He had to grin as she broke his hold with a slip of her arm, not even realizing it was him until she had turned to see him. 

"Sorry...habit," she told him, stopping fully to talk to him.

"It's okay. You'd think I'd know by now not to grab you unless I want to go flying," he said with a soft smile her way. He drew in a breath, and then leaned in closer to her. "I want you to go to the dance Friday with me." He watched her eyes, suddenly too aware that if she didn't want more than this odd friendship, that his suggestion might bring everything to a crashing halt. That thought bothered him, more than just a little.

She shook her head, sadly. "I don't think..." She paused, as she looked up into his eyes. He had no idea what she saw there, but it changed what she'd been saying. "Yes. I'll meet you there?"

"I could pick you up," he offered, cocking his head to the side.

"Better if you let me meet you," she told him. 

"It's a date."

"It certainly is," she said, trying to push down both the smile and the flush at his words.

* * *

Slade decided he loved the deep blue dress that Dinah had chosen, and knew he was entirely too tantalized by the bare neck she had exposed with the hair style she had swept her black hair into. He offered her his arm, and felt her settle into it with a firmness so many girls lacked. She knew how to let a boy be a gentleman, he decided, which was something completely unexpected in some ways, given how fiercely independent she could be at other times.

"You're beautiful," he murmured as he leaned down to her ear. 

"I'd have to be, to keep up with you," she replied without missing a beat, her voice sincere and flattering all in one. He laughed softly as he opened the door, and let them both in where everyone could see them.

The look on Barry's face processed through his notice first. His best friend was obviously in complete denial that he had come in with a mere freshman. But Iris, with her patent disapproval, very obviously wanted to grab Slade by the ear and pull him aside for a nice, long 'chat' right then and there. Dinah merely tilted her chin up in defiance of the upper classmen disapproving of her, while avoiding any arrogance about being the one on his arm.

Slade decided that was just the right tone as he set about enjoying his night with this girl that so intrigued him, despite all of the reasons she shouldn't.

* * *

Of course, his friends being who they were, Slade found his peace on Saturday broken early, as Barry and Iris showed up while he was still working on the chores around the property for Frannie. Slade looked up at the Mustang rolling into the driveway with a shake of his head, and put the trimmers down to walk over.

Iris slid out of the car almost before Barry had it stopped, and headed his way. "Slade, what're you thinking?"

Slade looked innocent. "About what?"

Barry groaned at the sight and sound, even as he slid out on his side. "Man, when you said you had a date, I thought you meant from out of school or something!"

"That doesn't work on me, Slade Joseph. And I meant what were you thinking, taking any frosh to one of the dances, let _alone_ that one! You're just lucky none of her parents' crowd was chaperoning!"

Slade shrugged. "I figured it couldn't hurt. As for her folks, Michael asked a few years back...maybe they mellowed." He had to admit that it had been very nice to have a girl on his arm who could be as animated about boxing as she was about hating this teacher or praising that class.

Barry, however, was looking at him like he'd grown a new set of eyes or ears. "You're nuts."

"If they'd mellowed, he'd have mentioned it, Slade," Iris sighed, shaking her head at him. "And what did you figure it couldn't hurt, other than your reputation and hers both?" 

Slade looked at them both with an attempt at patience. "It's midway through third term. She's way ahead of her class anyway. And if there'd been a reason to tell me 'no', I'm sure she would have."

"Just the fact you're the star quarterback and the centerfielder for the baseball team didn't have a thing with the silly little frosh not saying 'no'," Barry said, in a level tone that still carried stinging sarcasm.

"No, he probably just gave her that _look_ he's so good at," Iris said, hand on her hips irritably. 

"I did not!" Slade said quickly, but he remembered that Dinah had changed her mind after looking at his face closely. "Look, it was one date!"

"Seeing her again? Made plans for the Tastee Freeze?" Barry asked mildly. Slade looked away just a moment, because she had said she'd meet him there on Monday, after her tutoring.

"You are." Iris took a breath, abandoned her quite justified irritation, and left Barry's side to go to Slade, reaching up to lay her hand on the line of his jaw. "Slade, why this girl?" 

Slade clamped down on the first retort of 'why does it even matter' because it did. And he knew it, had known it through the year as it grew. During Christmas break when she'd gone to relatives on the East Coast, he had found himself wishing she had a phone, wishing he could see her.

"Slade?" Barry pressed.

"She matches me. She's into sports, she's smart as a whip, knows just what she wants in her life," he said, trying to find words for it.

Iris made a low noise, her fingers tensing against the curve of his jaw as she looked up into deep blue eyes--and saw something she never had, not in all the years she'd known him, not even when she was his girl. And honestly, she'd never expected to see it this soon. Slade knew where he was headed, what he wanted and where he was going way too strong for this... "Oh, Slade."

He covered her hand with his own, then sighed. "Yeah." He couldn't deny it, not deep down, not with his two best friends making him look at why the girl couldn't get out of his thoughts.

"Man, any girl in town would be a whole lot better than this." Barry knew of the Lances a little more than Iris did; his family had been on the outskirts of the law profession about as long as the Lances and the Drakes had been in it.

She shook her head, and left her hand resting under his for as long as he wanted to keep it there, letting Barry try and argue sense into him. 

"Alright, if I'm going to go after Dinah seriously, I think I need to know some things. She mentioned her granddad was Old Man Drake, and that her mom runs the flower shop downtown," Slade said, wanting to know more. "Her dad's got that old office downtown, runs private eye work, right? She works in her mom's shop some afternoons."

"You've lost your _mind_ ," Barry told him, frustrated hiss of breath between his teeth. "Yeah, Lance Investigations. I know you know her best friend is the Chief of Police's daughter, and that you know Mr. Lance used to be his partner. You were there that day we were all talking."

Slade nodded. "Got all that. I'm just curious about why her mom went psychotic on _Michael_. Yeah, he's a goof, and he always has been, but...it's _Michael_."

"Probably has something to do with Ted and Micheal neither one being able to stay away from the chief's daughter," Barry said after he thought about it for a moment. 

That made Iris laugh a little. "They've been... interesting since junior high."

"Amen to that." Slade then looked back at Barry, as he shifted Iris's hand down and shifted to stand alone. "Dinah's not like the other freshmen, Bar. She's got her head on, and she's headed for the Academy as much as I'm heading for enlistment."

"And you're talking about going after her seriously, when you're gonna be leaving this town behind for good in just over a year?" Barry couldn't see the sense in this one, and the words were out before Iris got back to him and slid an arm around his waist. 

Slade stopped, thought about it for a few long moments, and then shrugged. "It's not like I'm proposing to her, Barry. We'll date, have some good times, pack up some memories...and if it happens, it does. Cop and soldier aren't that far apart in some ways."

Barry shook his head as he took a breath, but Iris's nails bit into his side where Slade couldn't see the move. He decided to give up the argument until he could find out what Iris was seeing that he wasn't, and made it into a sigh. "Alright. Since obviously you're not gonna listen for two seconds anyway, I might as well save my breath."

"Good, man. You need it for the game later in the week," Slade joked, glad to stop pressing so deep into his personal life and motives. "Now, before Frannie comes back and takes strips out, y'all going to go so I can finish up my chores?"

"I was meaning to talk to Miss DeFarge anyway," Iris replied, "and Bar can lend you a hand for the time we took up." With that, she took off towards the front porch and slipped inside, leaving them to go back to the chores. 

"Sounds fair," Slade said right on top of Barry's protests, but the pair of blonds went straight back to work.

* * *

"What do you think?" the black-haired sophomore cheerleader standing in front of the starting senior quarterback did a quick spin, smiling up at him. Slade just had to smile and shake his head at her delighted little smile, and at this particular little maneuver of hers. 

Dinah had explained during the summer that she just plain did not want to fight with her mother over dating, and that her mother would have none of it under any circumstances, so it just wasn't worth it. It made Slade uneasy, as he felt he ought to meet her parents, but he also didn't want to lose his girl because he had pushed and she got angry with him, or because of her being right about her mother. That one dance had led to more afternoons at the Tastee Freeze, then into eventual trips into the city when Dinah could go with Babs and meet them there, and even a few other teen events through the summer that let them stay very close.

After (according to them, at least) the way he was acting over this girl, Iris and Barry both had given up on him, on talking any sense whatsoever into his head. He was glad of it, because he liked her far too much to listen to them anyway. And now, Dinah had a foolproof reason to be at all the games, and probably the dances too, by having wheedled her daddy into letting her sign up for cheerleading. The camps for that sport and football were taking up the last bit of the summer, but Slade honestly didn't mind, not if it meant a little less sneaking around for both of them. 

"I think I've got the prettiest girl on the squad," he told her. "And I _know_ you're the only one that could probably take down most of the football team." That was one of the key things he loved about her. She could be so feminine, so soft and compassionate... and she could kick even his tail in the gym, on some days. He won more often than she did, but that was because he nearly doubled her weight. 

"You're sweet, but you're also going to be late for practice again, Slade." She grinned, then left him to run off as she made her way to the rest of the girls. It wasn't that hard to learn the routines after all, and she'd figured out how to balance it with her soccer games and her martial arts. It even complemented the martial arts, at least.

* * *

They made it all the way to Homecoming before it was known to pretty much the whole student body just what the football team, cheerleading squad, and soccer team had already known. With as many of his exes as were on the squad, he'd had a few nervous moments about Dinah being with them, but her bright personality had been enough to win the girls over, and the soccer team had already been very fond of her. On Homecoming night, though, Slade had taken one look at her shivering in the cool night air and very casually draped his letterman's jacket around her shoulders.

Iris didn't know whether to breathe a sigh of relief that it was official, or cry at the fact everyone finally knew their quarterback had completely lost his mind. Looking at Dinah from a few feet away, the jacket all but swallowing her, Barry finally realized that young as the girl was, that was the same look in her eyes for Slade that Iris had for him.

* * *

While Dinah did remember that week to give the jacket back to Slade, so her parents wouldn't see, she forgot it coming home from the away game. As she was almost too tired to see straight--and a little on cloud nine form riding all the way back under Slade's arm--she walked right in through the kitchen, and had to freeze at the door to the staircase when her mother's voice reached out.

"Junior?"

"Yes, momma?"

"What are you wearing?"

//My boyfriend's jacket, like any normal teenager.// Thankfully the question had awakened her sense of self-preservation before she opened her mouth. "One of the boys saw how cold I was on the way home, momma. I need to remember to take it back Monday," she replied glibly.

* * *

Dinah scuffed her foot a little as Slade joined her. It was the last day of school before the Thanksgiving break, and that meant separations for them both. 

"I wish I could have you over for dinner," she murmured. "But we're going into the city anyway... my uncle there is hosting for us all." 

"It's just the weekend...okay, so it's a long one," he admitted. "You'll be home Sunday, right?"

"Yes, but we'll be putting up the Christmas decorations." She sighed heavily. "It will be Monday at the earliest before I can see you."

"Then I think you and me need to work the turkey out at Grant's gym that morning," he said, dipping in to steal a quick kiss. The prospect of seeing him before school, and the kiss, made it a lot easier for her to go home smiling, no matter how much she'd miss him.

He'd managed to hold back saying how much he wanted to meet her folks, saying that anything would be better than being home with his reprobate half-brother's poisonous ways. Slade was hating the holidays now because it meant both that Wade came home from the school Frannie'd had to send him to, and that he wound up missing out on his girl's time. Maybe Frannie'd understand if he bailed and took Iris up on her offer of dinner instead of being home.

* * *

They had been up to the river several times, both alone and with other members of the football team and cheerleading squad. Up on the banks out of town had been a favored teenaged hangout for ages, just like in most river towns—but someone was always finding new places to use. Going off alone, and finding a place to park for kissing and talking was no novelty to them, now. Dinah trusted Slade implicitly, and he proved worth it by never pushed her further than she was fully comfortable with.

With the long separation of Christmas holidays coming, neither one had much in the way of self-restraint, not with each other. Tucked into the bed of his truck on an air mattress, under a heavy down quilt, they were bare skin to bare skin, touching and kissing like so many other times. He still wasn't quite sure that his heart didn't stop when she spoke, though.

"Slade...are you carrying a rubber?"

Slade tried to remember how to breathe, shocked at her words, and pushed up on an arm enough to look fully down into her face, tipping his head to the side a little. "Dinah... baby, are you...?" 

She nodded, a little fear in her eyes, but mostly showing just how strongly she wanted him, her hand stroking down his shoulder. "It should be okay... just finished my cycle, and if you're protected..." She pushed up enough to kiss his throat. "I want it to be you, and I'm tired of waiting."

He ran his other hand down the side of her face, careful and gentle, while his pulse slammed in his palms and throat and groin because god, he wanted her, but... He dropped his head, kissing her deep, his hand sliding from her cheek down under her shoulder to hold her closer against him until they both had to breathe, trying to use the time the kiss bought him to think. Not that he ever _could_ think when it came to her.

She was so open to him, her body warm and vibrant against him. Her kisses were full of passion and need, and there was a slight whimper when he broke the kiss. "Please... please, Slade..." she whispered, her hands running over his shoulders.

"When've I been able to tell you no?" fell out of his mouth before he had any intention of saying it, and he shook his head as he reached for the jeans he'd slipped off earlier, fishing into the pocket for his wallet. 

She watched him get the condom out, then reached and took it, opening it with a little fumble. She then leaned up and kissed him again, some nervousness returning, but she'd touched him so many times that rolling the condom down over his hard erection was just one more thing to steady her resolve to have him that night. She never would stop loving the way his shaft felt when she touched him, how it jerked a little on the first touch or the way it spasmed with his control holding back anything more.

"What you _do_ to me, Dinah..." he said on a breath, watching her face more than her hand, though her touch like that sent shock through his body worse than grabbing a live wire had all over again... He felt like a kid, out of control just for a moment, and hated that he could feel that weak again nearly as much as he loved how it felt to be with her. 

She smiled up into his loving look at her, and added one more caress before laying back on the air mattress, bare to his sight, inviting to his body. "Believe me, Slade, you make me crazy too."

"I'd hope, baby," he moved, then, cat-quick as he stretched out over her and wrapped that arm down under her body to pull her closer, kissing her sure and deep all over again. Once he pulled back, though, his lips curved up wickedly. "But you've just thought I made you crazy before, beautiful..." 

She answered that wicked smile with one of her own, thoughts of being chastised about what good girls did far from her mind as they could be. "Why don't you show me, love?" she said in a throatier voice than ever before, more sure now that this was right for them.

A flicker of nervous thought ran through his head at her voice, at the way she moved, //God, let me do this right,// despite how many times he _had_ done this before, and he dipped his head to lick at the line of her throat. She moaned softly, fully trusting in him, and let him show her just how together they truly could be.

* * *

"Missing school, little miss?" Larry teased her as he caught his daughter daydreaming by the fire.

"Bet she's got a boyfriend she misses!" Jennie-Lynn teased.

"Been kissy facing with a boy?" Todd teased right along with his twin. Dinah opened her mouth, her eyes sparking, but she didn't have a chance to speak. 

"Oh stop it you two," Dinah Senior said firmly. "Junior has her head on straight. School and sports are all she has time for. Boys would only get her in trouble, and she knows it." 

In the face of their aunt's disapproval, the twins left their cousin alone, but Larry thought he glimpsed a hint of sadness in his daughter before she closed her eyes and snuggled into her plaid Christmas robe.

//Maybe we're being too unrealistic, to think Little Miss really didn't want to date the boys like most girls her age,// he thought for a moment.

* * *

Frannie was still waiting up when Slade slipped back inside the house. He glanced at her, refused to look even vaguely repentant, and walked over to the fridge to get some sweet tea.

"Seeing that girl again?"

"No Frannie; Just didn't want to mar the holiday by punching Wade out." He was perfectly honest about his antipathy, and Frannie would admit it was well-earned. Wade had been nothing but trouble to them most of his life—just about since he'd learned to talk, let alone walk, if she was honest with herself. "My girl's off with her kinfolk."

"Still the same one?"

"Yes ma'am."

Frannie waited a long moment before speaking the rest of her thoughts on this. "Slade, this girl? You're not letting her get in the way of your future?"

"No ma'am. I've signed my contract." //She'll wait for me, and me for her.// The thought had scared him half to death the first time he had it, but he knew, down deep in his bones, that Dinah and he were going to make it. That they could do this. 

"Keep that straight, boy, and you'll do just fine," Frannie assured him, not bringing up his leaving the dinner table again.

* * *

When it came time to handle getting them to the prom, Barbara was the one to come to the rescue of her dating challenged best friend. Where Dinah had always just claimed she was sleeping over at Babs' (and then shimmied out her window to go spend time with Slade), prom was a dance Barbara was definitely supposed to attend, as both Michael and Ted, her erstwhile boyfriends, were juniors and attending.

After making sure that her own father wasn't chaperoning this time, Babs went straight to Dinah Senior and suggested it might be a good idea to let Dinah Junior attend as the person in charge of the flowers. It would let Junior get a little more experience handling the larger functions that the Bowery often had, and free up a quiet night for Dinah and Larry, too.

By the time both of the girls were getting into their dresses, Dinah had only _just_ gotten her shock under control. Dinah rode with Michael, Ted, and Barbara nearly to the school, before slipping out and into Slade's waiting truck, where he carefully presented her with a corsage (thanks to Babs' quick message about her dress), and accepted his boutonnière from her, while thinking all the while how lucky he really was.

* * *

The June heat was far too hot to have his jacket, of course, but her fingers kept playing with the ring on the chain she wore (as the ring was far too large for even her thumb) as his commitment to her. She had also swiped one or two of his shirts to hide in her room, so she'd have something with his smell while he was gone for weeks.

"I'll write," he told her, forgetting he'd said it already. 

"I know." She pulled it together, and stood as tall as she could, taking in the sight of him this last time. He'd be gone almost all summer for Basic Training, then only back for a couple of weeks before college started and he left to do his ROTC program.

He could tell she was holding back the tears, showing him her love and pride instead of the worry and pain of separation.

"I love you, Dinah Laurel Lance, and when I come back after this summer, we're talking to your daddy," he said firmly.

"We'll see about that," she retorted. "You keep your mind on being the best soldier out there, baby."

"Of course." He hugged her close, took one last kiss, and then waited for the bus to come to a full stop so he could get on it.

The last sight he had of her was her fingers playing with the ring, her waving with the other hand, and the first of her tears marred by the dust from the bus.


	2. The Cold Slap Of Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slade never truly thought the search would grow hot quite like this.

_Years later_

As he stepped back from the podium, he was glad that settling in at his new base had opened up with a light detail like this one. Being here, among a teeming public school of kids ranging from five to twelve was like immersion therapy. It helped to temper the still raw wound of having Adeline divorce him and get custody of their boys. Grant was four, and Joe was just barely shy of three. They were so young that it made him wonder how much of him they would remember when it came time for his visitation after school was over for the year. He hated the thought, and tried to shove it away.

Maybe it meant he was getting soft, like Jordan insisted, as he got older. Or maybe, like his foreign friend Wintergreen had told him, he just needed a chance to break free of the old ways for a time. This seemed as good a way as any. Talking to kids about the military for a while and helping inspire them on career day was definitely as far as he could get from the day-to-day bureaucracy of the Army or from the violence of the special-ops missions he conducted for his country—and it was a welcome respite, at that.

He couldn't even say that he never should have fallen for Adeline. He _had_ loved her, still did in most ways. And he would not have given up having the boys for anything. They just hadn't been able to keep it going. It was too damn hard to make a marriage between two career officers work-- especially with their specialties--and she had both the reputation and the money to keep the kids in better circumstances than he did. He wasn't sure which one of them had acted more in spite of her family's standing when they married, but it had kept him from any chance of keeping his sons. He supposed this was just the way his life was supposed to work, that love really couldn't last.

"Thank you, Major Wilson. Next we have..." The principal continued with his introduction of the next professional, a chef, Slade noted as he glanced at his watch. The principal was distracted with the next speaker's introduction, he wasn't watching the crowd all that intently now that he'd finished speaking, and no-one in the school noted the intense scrutiny one little boy watched the soldier with.

That little boy was glad he wasn't right on the front row where he might be seen, but also so glad that luck had given him this opportunity. That he'd had the chance to see the man he'd heard about all his life with his own two eyes, just once.

* * *

School letting out was apparently a thing of chaos, Slade noted wryly as it sprung up all around him. A few older kids--mostly boys, but a few starry eyed girls--came up to him in the process of heading to the buses and cars, or breaking off into kid packs that would walk on home. He was polite as he talked to the boys that had the same look he remembered having at that age. One thing Slade depended on was that his love of the Army had never wavered, and he'd never regretted it. If he could pass that on to some of these kids, it'd serve them well.

Maybe it was because he was trying so hard not to let thinking about the loss of his children ruin what was a good day. Or maybe it was just all the noise around him. Whatever the cause, he completely avoided noticing the sturdy dark-haired eight year old that slammed into his legs, apparently distracted by a shout from another boy calling his name.

"I'm so sor--" The rest of the apology was cut off in the middle of a loud gulp of a swallow, as the boy paled before dashing off. As he ran, he threw another apology over his shoulder along the way toward a beat up jalopy of a car with a small, dark-haired woman opening the door for him to get in.

Slade's breath froze in his throat.

He'd seen her in a thousand places. This wasn't supposed to be one of them. Not with a child that age, a child with that face...

It just wasn't possible.

But he knew her face.

* * *

_He kept touching the letters, folded neatly in half and riding in the breast pocket of his dress shirt, under the dress jacket, as the bus rolled up to the station. He'd find out why they had come back soon enough. She'd said she'd keep an eye on the mailbox. One more stop after this one..._

_He got off the bus, despite the blistering heat, to stretch his legs, get a drink of water, and breathe the air of his home state. Just one more stop, and he'd be home to her..._

_He wasn't sure why he paid a second glance to the poster. It wasn't his habit to look at the missing or wanted posters in stores or on lampposts. There was nothing he could do about them, after all._

_But this one took the breath out of him and froze him in his tracks. He almost missed the call to climb back on the bus, it had such a grip on him._

_Looking back at him, under the bold caption of "Have you seen this girl?" was Dinah's face._

* * *

Before he could get his breath back, before Slade Wilson could call out the name that had haunted him since he was 17, the car door closed and the beat-up old car pulled away, taking his tormented past away again. Even his sharp eyes hadn't been able to catch the plate, not from that distance and not with the heaviness of the grime over it. He looked for any teacher nearby and had to be content with the kid that had called the boy's name.

"Hey, what did you say his name was? That was a pretty solid hit. Made me wonder if he played football?" How he was making his tongue work, how he was managing to be this non-threatening, he had no idea. He was very glad that this town was as military happy and trusting as his last duty station, because the boy answered him easily.

"That? That was Duncan Grant, and I don't think he plays sports..." the kid said before he shrugged and ran off, unaware that the military man was struggling to even make himself breathe yet again.

She'd hidden under her uncle's name, in the city right across the river from their hometown, with no-one ever finding her. With all of her family's connections, somehow she'd stayed hidden after she disappeared. How wasn't even thinking of coming to his mind; it was the why that seemed so glaringly obvious--and devastating--after having seen that child's face.

* * *

He wasn't sure how he managed to drive to Barry's house from the school. If there was one blessing in all this, it was being back in the city closest to where he had grown up, where he had the support he needed not too far away. He hadn't gone to college here (not after losing her), but Barry and most of his crowd had, and had stayed pretty close. He'd wanted to move back because he might need help with the kids, but now... that Iris and Barry were right here was even more of a blessing. 

Barry was at the house, though Iris was still at her paper for the afternoon. The baseball player took one solid look at his best friend since forever and pulled him inside. He knew that set to Slade's face, the look that said his world had just been rocked down to its foundations and then shaken some more. He'd seen it their senior year, he'd seen it when Addie first told him they weren't going to work... what in the hell had brought it out now? He just moved, not really asking questions until he had a glass of tea for them both and they were settled on the couch, then he asked.

"What happened? Something wrong with the boys? Addie's lawyers still nit-picking your visitation rights?" Those were the only things he could guess, and if anything had happened to one of the boys...

Slade shook his head, sitting with the drink in hand and staring at it, only half aware of how blank his expression was. "She's here. Right here, Barry."

"Addie?" //Why would she b--//

"Dinah."

The mention of that name made Barry frown. It just couldn't be possible, could it? After all their searching and wondering that summer, years back had come to nothing... And she was in same the city that he and Iris and so many of their classmates had settled in? He took a moment to think about it, then said gently, "Maybe you just thought--"

Slade cut him off as his eyes snapped up with blazing conviction. "I saw her! And I saw her son, with my face!" he told Barry with all the pain and anger of not understanding any of it thick in his voice. "They said his name was Duncan Grant."

Barry all but rocked back in his seat, floored by what Slade had just told him.

"Grant? Like her uncle? I'll give that to Iris, and we'll see what we can dig up," Barry soothed. "Where did you see her?" 

Slade started telling him, still haunted by the boy's face, while vowing to himself that he would have answers, no matter what it took.

* * *

Duncan waited until he and Lian were alone in the bedroom they shared, making sure Momma had gone for her night time job before he got out the album she kept on his shelf in there. He wished she didn't have to work so much, but since Uncle Roy didn't have a gig tonight, she had to go waitress at the nightclub to make money.

It was part of his life, but he wished, just once, he had had more of her time to talk to her about school that day. He hadn't known how to tell her, because even at his young age, he knew how much it hurt his momma to think about his daddy.

Instead, he looked through the album, pictures of Slade Wilson clipped from the newspaper of the little town across the river. Momma didn't like to talk about the town much, but she had always read him the stories about his daddy that the Hometown Heroes would run. There hadn't been many, but Momma said there would be. She always told him his daddy would be the best soldier ever.

After he had read each clipped article, and wound up telling stories to Lian about them, he put the album up and got out his coloring notebook. He would make a new picture, and that way he might be able to tell his momma about seeing his daddy. The picture would help, because she always smiled at the pictures. Even the one of his daddy marrying the other woman had made her smile, despite the tears Duncan had known she was hiding.

* * *

"Grant, Duncan J." Iris bit her lip as Slade looked hopeful. "Born in January the year after we graduated, birth certificate filed through one of the runaway shelter programs. Mother listed as Grant, Dinah L. Father listed... as you."

Slade shut his eyes as so many questions warred inside him over this discovery. Finally he looked at her with a firm control on his emotions. "Did you find an address?"

"Not yet. My contact at the DMV wasn't in, baby." She gave him a firm hug. "We'll find her, though. We know she's here, and she's obviously not running now."

//But why did she run to start with?//

* * *

Slade stared one long time at the address he had been given by Iris, before looking up at the building it had brought him to. He'd been nervous enough just at checking the city map, because this side of town was considered Helltown by most of the sane population of the city, and with good reason. Actually seeing the apartment complex put a chill into his blood. He braced himself, going to see if he could, at long last, get the answers he so desperately needed to finally shut this part of his life off. He knew, deep in his guts, he still loved her, but learning Dinah was alive and apparently hiding the existence of his own child from anyone who had ever known him, or her, had done a lot to inflame his temper.

They did say that there was only a thin line between love and its polar opposite, flickered through his mind. While he did not think it was hate brewing, he did know that the flame burning in his chest was the most dangerous kind of anger he possessed. He didn't often let himself fall deep into it--it reminded him too much of his father, his brother, but... it was hard to keep solid control when he thought about her vanishing.

The building, as he'd suspected, was a rats' warren of apartments and loud people with the various failings of urban decay on full display. Everything from the screaming fights to the laundry hung along the staircase to the dead, hopeless eyes of one of the men he passed in the hall... The apartment listed turned out to be rented by a woman with too much makeup and too little clothing, which left him bitterly frustrated. He scanned through the floor, on the off chance he might hear Dinah's voice in one of the apartments, but to no avail. Defeated, for now, he turned to go downstairs once more.

"You there, soldier!"

Slade wasn't in uniform, but the voice was an older woman's tone... the one kind of voice he snapped to faster than for his superior officers.

"Ma'am?" He turned around on a heel to see a woman that looked about ten years older than Moses appraising him.

"You look too clean cut to be wandering in this hell hole, soldier."

"Looking for someone, ma'am."

She twisted her head a little more to one side, then shook her head, disappointment writing itself over her features. "No girl or weed's worth ruining your career. Country needs soldiers that carry themselves like real men, the way you do, too much."

He couldn't help but smile at those words, feeling all that pride in who he was all over again. "Ma'am, this girl was worth it, back when I was still a boy. I've got a need to know how she fell on such hard times." //Close enough, Slade.//

The old woman grunted, and then motioned him to follow her into the open apartment behind her. "Soldier like you meant me harm, no door would stop it. You come in here and tell me about this girl, keep an old woman company for half an hour or so. I like your story, I might tell you about the girl. I know everyone, and been here for years and years. Too stubborn to move. Too many memories here."

Slade hesitated, but if she was willing to talk.... He followed her, noting almost immediately the pictures of a man in Naval Uniform of the World War Two era, and more of a woman he presumed to be her, in the Women's Auxiliary uniform. Other pictures, newer eras, of two young men, Navy and Marine, also graced the wall.

//No wonder she could spot me even in civvies.// He sat down, once she told him to, and accepted the glass of tea she brought.

"Thank you, ma'am," he told her.

"Thank me with a story," she grumped, and despite his intensely private nature, Slade began telling this veteran, wife of a veteran, and evidently mother of two veterans, a censored version of his search for the girl that stole his heart in high school. He told her about their first meetings, about some of the things he'd _never_ told anyone that she'd done that had wrapped him so close around her fingers, and then about the way she'd disappeared. Not once did she let on that she might know who he was talking about, and he carefully did not use her name in the story. When he got to the current point in history, he merely said he had seen her, a friend of theirs both had helped him find this address for her, before lapsing into silence.

The old woman considered for a long moment, thinking it all over. She then shook her head sadly at him. "Girl hasn't lived here near on a year, young man."

"You know her?" Slade tried hard to bridle the hope, but failed.

"Did. Her and the boy, their two children." The old woman caught sight of the way Slade's face went stony, but she said nothing except the advice she had. "Can tell you where to find her, likely. She works, day and night, waitressing."

Slade had to bite back the thought he had, because in this part of town, there would not be much call for restaurant waitresses at night--and what it did to him to think of her working in one of the bars... He couldn't think about it.

"Not sure which building they live in now, but she'd held the one job at Flo's Diner forever and a day. Probably still there, most days. Catching her by night might be trickier, since she usually won't stay in any one of them places for more than a few months. Still, tiny thing like her tends to stand out in those crowds. Wouldn't be too hard for you to track her down just by going by the places... unless the boy's got a show. She doesn't work those nights."

"The boy?"

"Red-haired boy, thin thing. Came off the smack, they said, but a hard worker. Fixed up a number of our places when he lived here."

"Do you know his name?"

"Called him Roy. Never knew his last name... nor hers. But I can't forget them, sweet as they could be, and fierce as ten devils over the babies."

Slade's chest hurt when he swallowed his tea, thinking of some red-headed man in his Dinah's life, living a hard life with her, but giving her the children Slade had always seen for himself, for them.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Just keep us old service folks in your thoughts, the next time the VFW calls around for volunteers and donations."

"I will, ma'am."

* * *

Finding Dinah took another week of his time. He had almost resorted to checking those clubs that made his teeth grind when he thought of her in them. Every time his sensibilities riled up at the idea of her in them, he seemed to catch a glimpse of one of the women...or girls, even boys at times...on the corners in this hell hole of a slum.

With PT and duty and such, he was limited in his hours for looking, but the old woman's recollection of 'Flo's Diner' had proven unreliable at first. Only after he'd asked a few kids hanging around, and been corrected by a woman sitting out on the stoop finally had he found out that Flo was the current owner, but the place had a still had a small sign that said 'Alice's Diner' on it.

Armed with that knowledge, and told they served the best food for this part of the city, Slade had gone over in the afternoon. His quick ears overheard the waitresses discussing shifts, and apparently there was a Dinah that worked there. She pulled the after-drunk crowd, those people who had early morning jobs to get to, or the midmorning shifts. While that one might do him the favor of letting it be too busy for too many words, it was the one he'd have the hardest time getting to. That meant coming in before PT, or waiting for the weekend to roll around.

Slade had never been the most patient man in the universe, but Iris and Barry tag-teamed him to make him wait for the Saturday chance. Even worse in his books, Barry had gotten his word that he would wait for the end of her shift to make himself seen, no matter what it took.

Saturday rolled around, and it was the after-drunk shift apparently, because Dinah came on at four in the morning. She was on foot despite the neighborhood, which gave Slade both a reason to be afraid for her, and relief to know wherever she lived had to be nearby. Knowing when she had come in, Slade persuaded himself to go crawl the neighborhood a little.

Finding her car, knowing what he was looking for, gave him a likely building for where she lived. He wondered briefly why she had walked, then thought of the fact it was a Saturday and that little boy had certainly seemed an active child. Maybe that man...Roy...was needing the car. A sharp pain filled his chest at the idea of some other man taking his son to the park, throwing a ball with him, or just playing on the jungle gyms with him.

He cut off that line of thought, finding his anger again instead, using it to keep his mind focused. He would have his answers this day, dammit, on just why his girl had run off and had a kid...and never told him.


	3. Provoking Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, with her in his grasp, Slade can learn just why she ran.

* * *

Dinah was always tired on Saturday afternoons by the time her shifted ended. It wasn't that she worked longer than any other day. In fact, she most often turned down extra hours once the worst of the lunch crowd thinned. No, it was knowing she didn't have to run immediately to pick Duncan up. It was the idea that she wouldn't work that night, unless for some odd reason Roy hadn't booked himself at one of the clubs. Just knowing she would have the afternoon off and all night made the fatigue of the week crash in on her like a ton of bricks.

Still, a walk back to the apartment, and if she was lucky, a quick nap before Roy brought the children back from the park, would let her be energetic with her son, happy with the baby, and joking with Roy. She called a farewell back over her shoulder at the rest of the girls, and ducked out unrepentantly as a group of six went in. She heard Flo call out to her, but pretended not to; she had put in nearly ten hours already. On top of the six she had worked at the club the night before. She wasn't getting called back for anything less than a major emergency.

She was contemplating the thought of falling asleep in the tiny thing they called a tub, hot water around her to soothe her aches, when she realized she was being approached by a slow moving vehicle. Bold as brass in the middle of the damn day... She was ready to tell whatever punk that she was not in the business, as she turned, eyes rising only to take in a truck that she would have spotted among a hundred others of the same make and model. Few new dings and gashes, but she knew every line of that old-model, now, truck like the back of her own hand.

She wasn't sure if it was the fact she wasn't breathing that made her chest hurt, or if it was seeing him stop, slide out, and approach her around the front of the truck.

The wide-eyed, shocked look on her face was... almost a comfort to parts of him, and he stopped a couple of feet from her, looking down at her. She was still so _tiny_ \-- he'd known that already. What difference did it make.

"Slade..." It was an almost breathless whisper, chorded throughout with disbelief and shock. 

"Hello, Dinah," he said softly. All of the hot, furious words he wanted to say boiled at the back of his throat, wanted to snap from the tip of his tongue, and he didn't have a clue why he was trying to fight them down. 

Her face was almost ash-white, as she tried to cope with the fact that the man she had lost nine years ago was standing right in front of her. "You're..." She had no words for the emotions welling up in her. All she wanted to do was throw herself across the distance between them, and yet she couldn't. He was a married man, the last she had seen any news about him. Two children, even, according to the home town announcements in the paper. "Hi." 

Her absolute pallor spurred him with a fear she was going to faint, made him reach out a hand across the space between them for her arm. "...It's been a long time." Stupid, asinine thing to say, nothing like the fury that had ridden him all week, but he had never handled her fear or shock well. 

"Too long," she managed to say, looking down at the hand on her arm, then back up into his eyes. "God, Slade..." Tears fought her control, made her eyes misty, but she had lived almost a decade not showing her pain where people could see it. 

Tears in her eyes, hurt and pain in her voice -- //she's the one that ran away!// -- cut through him, and he heard himself speaking before he knew what he was going to say. "Dinah... why?" 

It was the look of pain on him that prompted her next words, far more than anything else. "Because if I was going to lose you, no matter what I tried to do, I wasn't going to lose what I had of you," she said softly. Thinking of her son at home straightened her spine, pulled more of that survivor's strength around her, but her other hand came to rest on his. "I had to, Slade." 

"What do you _mean_ lose me? I'd have done anything I had to, Dinah!" 

She swallowed hard against the anger, the young girl she had been lashing out at her mother, and tried to be the mature adult she managed most of the time now. "I was not going to let them ruin your life." 

"Dinah..." It was on the tip of his tongue to say he didn't understand, and he didn't... Then it hit with the force of a train wreck just how young she'd been, how her parents would likely have reacted, what -- "Oh, dear _God_ , Dinah. Damn it, I'd have taken care of you." 

She looked up, mouth half open, and then color did return...in the form of shame-fueled red coloring her cheeks, before she looked away. "Maybe my choice wasn't the best, but I've taken care of myself as best I could." 

"And our son?" If she hadn't yet put together that he knew she had a child, that would set her straight there.

He watched the fight he remembered snap right into her eyes as she turned her face back to look at him. "I have never let our son suffer. He has everything he needs, and as much as I can spare for extras for him!" 

Anger in her voice, fury in her eyes and the snap of her tone so utterly familiar as she looked up at him, defending how she'd cared for their child... and that she didn't didn't deny the boy was his child was a little bit of relief. "I didn't think you had, Dinah." 

She relaxed only a trifle at his tone. "How?" The worry in her voice made him glimpse the girl in this too mature, too young woman.

"How what?"

"Did you learn of him? By the time I was on my feet enough to think of finding you, the paper was announcing your engagement."

"He looks too much like me to be anyone else's child, Dinah... especially when I saw him run to you." That was the easy part to answer. He wasn't even going to _think_ about what it meant that she'd been watching out for information about his life, when she'd taken off without a word to anyone. He couldn't, not without losing the temper he'd worked so long to keep a grip on.

"You saw us?" Now her face crinkled in a frown, before a car honked at Slade's parked truck and went around. "We can't do this here."

"Where, then, Dinah?" he let his head tip to the side, even though he knew she was right. They were drawing both attention and the ire of passers-by, and that was nothing he wanted.

She looked in the direction of her work, then toward her home, mentally debating. She had to get home, as her son would expect her to be there for him, and so would Roy. "We can find a place to park at my apartment building." She didn't much like it, but if they went back to the diner, she might get told they had hours for her.

He nodded after a moment and let go of her arm to step back and pull the truck's passenger door open, same as he ever had, waiting to hand her up into it.

She let him, though she did reach for the grip to help pull herself in. She was too light, all nerves and very little mass at all hidden by the waitressing uniform. 

He frowned at how light she was as he handed her up -- she'd weighed more than this the last time he'd had her in his arms, all solid muscle, back then -- and made sure she was on the seat before he shut the door, not nearly as hard as he wanted to, and walked around to get back in the driver's seat and flip the ignition on. "Where'm I headed?" he asked her, not anywhere near willing to let her know he was fairly sure he already knew.

"Over two blocks and turn left," she said, confirming what he had found on the morning's scouting. She felt the long-lost, familiar comfort trying to settle in, but she kept it at bay. Nine years was a long time, and he might be a far changed man.

He drove, right hand light on the top of the wheel to keep himself from reaching for her.

"You're every bit the soldier I knew you'd be," she said softly, to fill the silence as he negotiated the streets.

"Guess it's obvious you've been keeping an eye on me," he said, his voice quiet and dark as he tried to figure out why in the hell she thought it was a good idea to throw that she'd always known where he was in his face some more.

"With you married, it was all I could do, to be sure Dee was aware of how good a man he had for a father." She looked out her window then, soul aching with the pain of loving the unobtainable so much. "Fourth building. We use the lot across from it to park."

"Dee? Our son?" He turned into the lot and kept his eyes open for a space, sliding into one of them after a lane or two. Interesting choice of nickname, though fitting enough... He wasn't going to mention the divorce yet -- not a lot of point if she already knew, or even if she didn't.

"Duncan. Dee for short, all his life." She faced him in the cab of the truck then, feeling far too tired and on edge to be doing this, but he needed to know. At least as much as she could tell him.

"Duncan... good name," he said quietly, trying to figure out where it was familiar from as he twisted around in the seat to look at her, knee against the back of the seat.

She looked down almost shyly. "Duncan Joseph Grant. Had to use the name I was going by, but I wanted him to have something of you in his name."

He swallowed, looking away from her out the windshield as he tried to deal with how _little_ sense this made. Hadn't she known he'd have done anything it took to take care of her? She'd just run, left all of them wondering if she was even alive... and yet, their son had his name. He'd already known that she was hiding under her uncle's name, but that didn't change the next thing from his lips. "Your uncle would be furious. Or flattered."

"Both, and it might even help him understand, if he were to ever know." She didn't seem to see that as a likely thing. "Momma being herself and all, it's best. She'd never see Dee for the angel he is."

"What do you -- never mind. Dinah, damn it, _why_?"

She had to look at her hands instead of his face, noticing the broken nails, the drier skin from the diner work. She'd need to fix that before Monday, for the club, not when part of what she did highlighted her hands. Finally she looked back up at him, holding her resolve. "Because if momma had put it together I wasn't sick from ... Well, just sick. If she had seen that I was carrying, she would have pressed for who. And ruined you, while taking my baby from me. After..." She struggled to find words that would let her hide what had happened while she gave him enough explanation to understand... god, he deserved that much. "I couldn't be sure what you had heard, who you would believe. So I ran, to protect you from them, and still have what I could of us."

"Dinah... what do you mean 'what I would have heard'? I didn't hear _anything_ until I was getting my letters back and then got home and you were _gone_."

She could not stop the teardrops that fell then, at the bite and pain in his voice. "I had no idea what he might have said to you. Blood over heart, after all."

His head whipped around, then, his eyes finding her face and the tears there and tried to decide if he'd heard her right... //blood over heart, blood over...// "What in the _hell_ did my damned half brother do to you?"

She realized her mistake instantly, going rigid in her seat. Too tired to think straight, too tired to keep those memories locked down, and now Slade was pushing on her for answers he wouldn't want to hear, probably wouldn't believe. "He gave me some grief, Slade. I dealt with it, but in my family, unless you're momma, you listen to kin first." 

"Dinah, I'd listen to a talking snake before I'd listen to a word out of Wade's mouth. The snake'd be more honest." He had no idea where his misbegotten half brother had gotten off to by this point, but if he'd been part of her running away... //Wade, when I get my hands on you...// 

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see that one's face, hear his voice. Instead, she focused on her son's future. "What are you planning to do, Slade? Our son is about my only reason for being." 

"You're assuming I've thought two seconds past finding out why in the hell you decided to run away." He snorted, deep in his throat, and just looked at her, his blue eyes dark with the memories of that long-ago summer.

She could not help the tightening of her hands into fists of helplessness at the memories, at this situation, at the fear of what he was going to do. Then she really met his eyes again, and the aching need for at least his understanding returned. "I got in trouble, early that summer. Momma and I were fighting a lot. Daddy wouldn't take sides, and I wouldn't put my uncle against his sister. Maybe it was the wrong choice, but right then, I could not see a better one."

"What had happened, b--Dinah? What got _that_ bad, that you thought you had to run away?"

"I broke some rules," she told him. It was a slight stretch, as procedures were rules of a sort, but it was close enough not to be lying to him. "Please, baby, don't press. I don't want to remember that summer."

"Do you think I _do_ , Dinah?" His lips set tight, remembering stepping off that bus all over again. That she thought using their old pet-names for each other would help, at all... just wound him tighter.

"No, I don't!" she snapped right back at him, temper fraying because it was easier than being afraid. She turned forward in her seat, hand going to the door. "I need to go in."

He fought down the urge to just reach out and grab her, keep her there until he could figure out what in the hell had happened, what his half-brother had to do with it and what she was thinking... but he'd lost any right to do that a long time ago, and he forced it all down into the chill of total focus – or at least tried, heat still lashing through his chest more than he wanted; and his voice was even as he spoke. "Fine, Dinah."

She choked back a half sob at that tone in his voice, her hand closing on the door handle to escape. Only, she couldn't make herself open it. He had to hate her, and she just couldn't live with that. "I never stopped wishing it hadn't taken so long to have the money and ability to look. I just hoped your wife could see what a damn good man she got."

That ripped a half-laugh out of his throat, even through all of the walls he'd learned to build in dozens of never-there actions over the years, dark and bitter as he didn't say a word.

She looked up at him, her eyes searching, and then she slid across the seat to him, where she had belonged so long ago. "Slade?" Her quiet use of his name, inflected with worry for him, fear for her future, and still tinged with the love for him that had never dimmed, reached out to try and find common ground.

He looked down at her, mouth and eyes dark, tight with everything she'd dragged up to the surface, and his hand tightened on the back of the seat to keep from touching her. "Learned when I was eighteen that no-one stays in my life, Dinah. I shouldn't have been surprised."

"I couldn't see any other choice!" she cried at him, wrapping her arms around herself. "I would not ruin your dreams! Not when I was already..." She caught herself, but she had paled, and flinched.

The way she sounded when she yelled at him, the way she wrapped so tight around herself let him know his words had cut just as deep as he'd wanted them too, maybe deeper... and the part of him that had never stopped loving and worrying for her hated him for it. She was so hurt, so upset, and -- "Already what, Dinah?"

She kept her mouth closed by biting her upper lip. She shook her head fiercely, not wanting to admit it to him. As angry as he was, he'd never believe that Duncan truly was his own son...and Duncan had to be!

"Dinah. What is it? What _happened_? I mean, you said your mother didn't know you were pregnant, that can't have been it, so..."

"Please," she whispered, shaking her head as if that could make it all go away. "Don't."

He let his eyes close -- easier than looking at her shaking and refusing to talk to him, pushing close on the one hand and trying to keep him away with the other, and took long, slow breaths, pulling them through his nose. "Alright, Dinah. Fine." He locked down everything else he wanted to say, all of the hurt and fury and fear shoved back down inside where it couldn't affect how he handled anything.

She took a deep breath, only it turned into a sob, then another before she could push herself back to the door. "Didn't want to hurt you, but that was all I could see then. "

"..Do you have any idea what it was like to step off the bus in Shiloh and see your face on a missing poster?" his voice was light, casual, easy and distant, like he was talking about someone else's life. "Think about that for a second, then tell me you didn't want to hurt me, Dinah."

At those words, she could no longer fight the tears but she kept them silent. She sat in his truck, stock still at first, and let them fall. Then, as she felt the full weight of this reunion, she began to shake, little by little, still as silent as she could be.

It was that the door didn't open, more than anything else, that pulled his eyes open to find her shaking in the seat of his truck, tears pouring down her face -- and he'd _never_ been able to cope with her tears. Seeing her in that kind of pain sliced up through him, stab of fury at himself for causing it shoved away, and he moved enough to lay a hand on her shoulder. Why, he had no _damned_ idea.

She responded by pushing up into that touch, almost on instinct. When she realized what she'd done, she cringed a little. "Never stopped loving you," she managed. "I know I've lost you, and I can't fix the hurt, but I never stopped." 

"Forgive me if I have a real hard time believing that, Dinah." 

She laughed a bitter laugh through her tears. "Even took that from me. Your trust in my word. Serves me right for getting myself so messed up by it all." She looked at him with a quiet moment of patience. "I did and do love you. But you deserved far better than a girl like me, and it seems you found her. So that only leaves us Duncan and memories, I guess. Even knowing that, Slade, I can't stop loving you." 

" _You_ were everything I wanted, the _only_ girl I wanted to build a life with. And you ran off and had my son in secret and you won't even tell me why." 

She reached up, covering his hand. "Would it help you to hate me more? To know? Because I've hated that summer for nine long years, and it is only for our son I make it through some nights." 

"I don't want to hate you! I just want you to make it make _sense_ to me, Dinah! Did you have that damn little faith in me, that you thought you had to?" He heard his voice go ragged, high, and cursed in the back of his brain even as he stared down at her. 

"With what he had said and done, I couldn't think at all!" she hissed. 

He froze, staring down at her as the implications from earlier, the way she'd cut herself off over and over again, and his half-brother and 'blood over heart' all started to gel into the start of an answer that pulled him out of the anger and straight back into the cold he'd been aiming for and missing all day. "Dinah. What did Wade do to you?" 

She could not evade him this time. Everything about her gave it away, from flinching at his tone, to cringing in remembered pain, to the shame coloring her face as the tears tried to pour up again. 

"Oh, god, baby..." //Wade, I'm going to kill you.// He moved, hand sliding from her left shoulder to her right as his left hand found her right hip, sliding across the seat some to pull her in against his body. Her first. That his half-brother was a dead man as soon as he found him would wait. A little while. 

She resisted a moment, then broke completely and just melded to him. He was bigger, but the scent and feel of him was enough to soothe and quiet her. He held her against him as he moved them enough to get his back against the door frame, get her cradled against his body just as perfect as she'd ever fit, and close his arms around her tight, hands curved around her back as he tried to quiet her. 

She let him protect her, even as her mind pointed out how strange it felt. When she was quiet even in her soul, she tilted her head up at him. "I'm sorry." 

"So am I, baby... god. So am I..." his fingers slid up over her cheek, wiping tears away with gentle brushes. The long, long moments of nothing but breathing the way her hair smelled and the feel of her body against his, the way she still felt like she'd been made to fit right there to him, had... given him enough time to think about how scattered her wits must have been. What Wade had to have _done_ to her mind, even more than that he'd -- raped her. God, his poor little girl. 

She looked for a napkin, reaching toward the ash tray for one, to blow her nose. Once she had, she nuzzled at him, and then froze. "I'm sorry, Slade...I shouldn't have done that." 

He caught her against his chest again, holding her right where she'd pressed herself. "Yes. You should've. I..." Damn it, he liked the hold he had on her right now, but he wanted her looking at him, for this. He let go of the grip on her with his left hand, and slid it until he could put his fingertips under her jaw and press gently. "Baby. I believe you." 

She nodded as she processed that he meant it with all he was. "But you're married and I'm...not worth much. I have my pride though. I won't give you and her any trouble." 

"Correction. I'm divorced, and you're still worth everything."

She stared at him in disbelief. "That woman let you go?! Is she insane?!" 

"Mmm... we let each other go. Nasty, complicated story involving her career, mine, our sons' best interests..." He really didn't want to go into the details of that many months of arguing with Addie if he didn't have to. 

Dinah's breath caught. "I never even considered that Duncan has brothers. It was just a piece of your life, and now it's a piece of ours." 

Slade shook his head, sighing quietly. "Funny enough... My eldest's name is Grant. Addie's choice, one of her relatives. I... didn't object. And Joey," he shrugged, "well." He paused, thought striking him. "Not my eldest's, I guess." 

She nodded. "Duncan is a shock to digest. Had to have been hard on you to hear that name sometimes, early on." She knew he loved her, had loved her so deeply. 

"Sometimes. But I got used to it... and yeah. He is. God, baby, we were always careful, much as I can remember..." He'd _never_ wanted this for her, had tried so hard to take care of her, make certain it wouldn't happen... 

Dinah nodded solemnly. "Remember that last time by the river? It had to have been then, because of how far along I was." 

"Like I could forget, baby?" Slade asked her, warm roughness all through his voice at the memory -- finally, for the first time in years, he could just let himself enjoy the memory. 

She chuckled low in her throat at hearing that tone from him. "I love him with all my heart that doesn't belong to you, baby. Life's been hard, and I hate having hurt you, but not having him is a thought that terrifies me," she admitted. 

"You said he's been your whole world..." He wasn't. going. to ask about the redhead, or the other child. He just wasn't. Not right now, with her in his arms like he'd never thought she'd be again. 

"I stayed in the shelters at first. Then I got hooked up with an older woman who needed a sitter. She knew a woman who knew how to midwife. And the shelter filed the certificate. Odd jobs, slowly saving up enough to get a better place than the one room flop, until I had an honest to god apartment...and then Duncan and I met Roy. Poor damn kid." She shook her head. "The whole time I was scrounging nickels and pennies and dimes, making sure I could get a hometown paper every week." 

"Dinah..." he stroked his hand down her back, holding her against him, trying not to think too much about what she might have had to do to keep herself and their son alive, with her no more than a teenager herself... "God." 'Poor damn kid' sounded more like Dinah's protective streak than a lover that had taken his place, and it let him settle down some more. 

She drew in a deep breath., and made herself actually ask the insane question on the tip of her tongue. "Baby, would you like to meet him today?" 

"I'd love to. Him running into my leg doesn't really count -- wait. This's your son. Yes, it does." 

She looked at him blankly. "He what? Slade, if he had seen you that close, he would have..." As it processed, so did the observations that Dee had been quieter this past week, drawing more, including pictures of his missing father. 

Slade cocked his head to the side, curious at why she'd gone still. "What, baby?" He brushed a hand over her cheek again, petting. 

"He knows your face, baby." She realized just how grown her little boy could be and shook her head. "Oh, Dee!" she whispered, before she made her voice firm. "Come on in. I want to change before the babies get back."

He let go of her only reluctantly, and waited for her to move away before he popped the door open and twisted enough to drop to the ground. She followed him out on his side, tucking against his side as she prepared for this meeting mentally.

* * *

Dinah made Slade stay in the tiny living room, not thinking about the fact he was under her roof, hating that he could see how cramped the family of four lived. She and Roy shared one room, and the babies had the other, which was an improvement over the one place where the babies had the space that had once been a walk-in closet...but still. She hated for him to see her like this.

She shed her waitress outfit, ran a sink of water and cleaned up with it, letting her hair down long enough to brush it before pulling it back in a pony tail. She slipped on clean but torn jeans and an old tee shirt she'd had forever, then made it back out into the living room.

He couldn't stop staring. She looked so much like the girl he'd fallen in love with, too tiny to be a full grown adult, but the lines at her eyes, the greater curve of her hip and bust...those testified to her maturity. At 24, she had lived life hard enough to push anyone under the influence of drugs or alcohol to escape, but nothing about her, nothing about the clean and simple apartment suggested either being in her life.

He tried to shake off the way he was staring at her, and walked towards her across the small apartment. "Did I mention that I'm glad I found you, in all this?"

She looked up at him, a small smile crossing her lips at the question. "No. I think we were too busy accusing and defending, then listening and explaining." She tentatively reached a hand up to caress along his jaw.

He let his cheek press into her touch, sliding a hand to rest against the small of her back. "I am. God, I missed you so much... I've _missed_ so much. But... I found you, and while I'm never going to like it, I do understand why -- mostly. So." He shrugged a little, putting the fight away. 

"So now we wait for..." She broke off as the noise of the hallway told them Roy was home. She pulled away to go get the door, knowing he'd have his hands full with Lian. "Hey Boy-o," she said as the door framed her, Slade in the background.

Duncan looked around his mama and saw the big man in the room, his jaw about dropping open, before he looked up to see his mother's face, trying to figure out if this was okay, if he'd somehow brought him here, and if this was okay.

Roy gave her a relieved look as he tried to keep Lian balanced on his hip, hand going back to her instead of the keys he'd been trying to get to. "Hey, Di. Thanks for letting us i--" He stopped talking when he saw the tall blond standing in their apartment, standing like either he ought to have either 'military' or 'cop' written in neon print over his head, and Dee was frozen just in front of him -- what the hell? Who was this, and how much trouble was he going to be to get rid of?

"Roy, this is Slade Wilson," she said in a soft voice, moving to the man's side and taking his hand. "Duncan, I think you had a run-in," and her lips quirked at some inner amusement, "with him?"

"I...I did, mama," he said softly, before walking like he was being pulled in by the man. 

Lian watched, not making any attempt now to get off her father's hip. That was the man Duncan kept drawing in his books, the one he told her stories about when they were supposed to be going to sleep.

"Tells me he takes after you, Dinah," Slade said, as he dropped down to kneel in front of the little boy, hand still in Dinah's. "Hi, Duncan." 

Roy tensed a little more, knowing that name perfectly well, but ... so far, it seemed like he was behaving alright. Okay, fine. Maybe he couldn't get rid of him. He stepped in, shutting the door behind him and Lian, and nodded over at the blond. "Hi." He had two million questions, but he'd never seen Dinah look quite like that. So for right now, he'd be polite.

"I'm sorry I ran into your legs, and I should have apologized then," Duncan told him. 

"He's used to being run over by our family, Dee," Dinah said with a laugh. "Slade, please meet Roy Harper and his daughter Lian." She let go of Slade's hand to go to Roy, taking the little girl to bring him over, a quick squeeze of Roy's arm to reassure him.

"Apology accepted, but don't worry about it. Your mother tried to knock me to the ground the first time I met her, too," Slade said, smiling a little. Then he heard Dinah say 'his daughter' and it took so much more of the weight off him. Not Dinah's child, and from the rest of what she'd said so far not her lover, either. That suited Slade just fine, and he nodded hello. "Mr. Harper."

"Mr. Wilson," Roy said with a touch of the defensive, nagged by a certain familiar look under the crew-cut. "We ever met before?"

"I don't know if you have, but the misters need to cut off," Dinah said, putting a firm foot down. "Slade, Roy's the kid brother I never had, and Roy, Slade's the only man I have ever loved."

Duncan all but did a little dance where he stood, stilling himself only by remembering that he really didn't want to embarrass himself. Mama wouldn't say that if Slade -- his daddy -- wasn't going to be a part of their lives, right?

Slade looked at his first love with a wry smile crossing his lips, "All right, little bird, have it your way. Harper." He studied the young man intently, trying to figure out if he knew the face. "I'm... not sure, either. I can't think of how we would have, unless it was before I left..."

Roy shook his head, and watched Wilson, trying to place him. "Just make it Roy. And I can't shake the feeling I've seen you before, but hey, who knows?"

Dinah sat down on the couch, Lian in her lap, and looked at Roy. "Slade was a star football and baseball player in high school. Maybe you saw his picture in the news, considering they took state three years running, both sports."

"You know as well as I do that Barry won us those, at least in baseball," Slade said, shaking his head at his little bird's bragging on his behalf. //And speaking of whom, god, Bar, be home tonight...//

"That would be Barry Allen, who made a name in the minors," Dinah pointed out. Roy snapped his fingers then, pointing at Slade.

"You busted my brother's nose... He kept hitting on the girl with you and your friends, and you popped him down to size for it!" he exclaimed.

"...no wonder I didn't recognize you," Slade said, shaking his head. "You couldn't have been more than ten or eleven." //What the hell is Ollie Queen's kid brother doing down here in the slums?//

Roy grinned for all he was worth. "Hell, I was cheering to see it happen." That made him relax, and he took over the bean bag chair, which meant Lian squirmed free of her aunt Dinah to come join him. "Never did know your name, but when Di said Barry Allen, I placed him there that night too...helluva small world."

"I'd say," Dinah said softly, as Duncan weaseled up into her lap, despite being more than half as big as she was.

Slade moved over to sit next to Dinah, hand sliding over to take hers lightly. "Yeah, I'd say it must be," he agreed. "Were you?"

"Got tired of him and the way he used women real early on. Everyone but him and his best buddy knew they were so gay for each other, and he just kept hiding behind whatever woman fell for his lines." Roy shrugged. "Real ass of a guy."

"Daddy!" Lian squealed, and covered his mouth. "No-no word."

Duncan looked at his parents holding hands, and up at his mother's face, seeing that the worry lines were smooth right now with a small sigh of relief. This was good. It had to be good. 

"Nice to know I decked the right guy, then," Slade said with a shrug, watching the little girl plant her small hand over his mouth. If Dinah claimed him as her kid brother... He'd better get used to the redhead in a hurry, if they were going to have any chance of trying to make something out of the wreckage of their past.

Roy concentrated on trying to bite lightly at Lian's hand, making her giggle and squeal at the playfulness. 

"Duncan, baby, want to go see if there's enough in the tip can for pizza?" Dinah asked her son. It felt like a night to celebrate, and pizza delivered in was a rare treat for the family.

Duncan hopped down and went to get the can, sprawling out on the floor to open it and start counting. Slade squeezed Dinah's hand, getting her attention, and said against her ear, "Let me." There was an immediate sharp set to her jaw, one that spoke of pride and stubborn ego.

"I would rather you didn't, Slade... you being here is gift enough."

Slade looked at that stubborn line, remembering it entirely too well from too many old arguments, and shook his head, not wanting to fight with her. But he wasn't going to let her carry the bill when they were going to be splitting the food among more people. It didn't look like either of the adults ate enough on any given day as it was. He remembered how to deal with Dinah being stubborn, too. "Split it, then?"

She couldn't turn that one down flat, as Duncan was now listening, and she could tell. "Dee, is there half what we normally spend in there?"

"Yes ma'am," he quickly answered. "Can I call it in?"

"Dee, we have a guest," Roy pointed out. "You have to ask your dad what he wants on the pizzas."

"Sorry," Duncan said instantly, looking up towards his father. 

Slade shrugged a shoulder. "What do you usually order? I'm easygoing when it comes to most pizza." 

"Except Carter's..." Dinah said, not trying to fight back the smile at remembering that particular argument between the guys. 

"Not even Shay ate that, Dinah," Slade replied.

Dinah smiled even wider, and Roy had to duck his head, hiding his expression. Dinah looking that radiant was something new for him, and he just hoped she didn't get her heart stomped on. The last she had spoken of Duncan's dad, he could have sworn the man was married. Dinah wasn't the type to be the other woman, Roy was pretty sure.

"We get one with all the meats, and one with just cheese," Duncan told him, happy to see his mama so smiling and peaceful.

"Want pineapple!" Lian announced. "On the cheesy one!"

"Sounds fine," Slade said, looking down at that smile on Dinah's face with one of his own widening. God, but she was beautiful when she smiled like that...

Looking up at Slade made Dinah blush a little, remembering how his smiles always made her melt, when they were alone, or walk taller when they were in public. She wondered if they were reaching at the past too much, or maybe she was blind by her devotion to his memory, but she could not help but snug up closer to him now that Duncan was off the couch.

Dee went to order the pizza, carefully hiding the tip can except for what they needed for the delivery, feeling like he was walking on air. Maybe he should have told Mama earlier about seeing his Daddy at the school. She looked like it was the best thing ever to happen.

Slade settled her in closer against him at the way she blushed and pushed closer, reaching for his wallet to square up with her with his free hand. That didn't take long, and he just settled to holding her and idly keeping an eye on the young man across the way with the little girl. //If he was that young then... he can't have been more than fifteen when he got that little girl. The hell?// It was none of his business, not really, and he knew it, but the puzzle was going to bother him for a while. Not right now, though. Right now was the sound of the son he'd never known's voice ordering pizza, and the feel of his first love tucked against his body.

* * *

Pizza had led to talking, with Duncan's insatiable curiosity keeping things flowing, despite some of the more awkward questions about Slade's family. He expressed keen interest in meeting his brothers some day, while blithely assuming Slade intended to be a part of his life now.

Dinah did nothing to correct this assumption, not right then, and Roy had to hide a few more frowns. Try as he might, though, Roy really couldn't see any fault in the guy, and his not being there for Dinah had not been his fault, either. But if Di got hurt because of this...

When Lian needed to be put down for a nap, Roy went with her; he had a gig that night, and couldn't stay awake all day and still be at his best. Dinah yawned slightly, but kept it behind her hand, not wanting to miss a moment of Slade and Duncan getting to know each other.

The yawn caught Slade's attention, though, and he looked at her. "Tired, baby?"

"She was up way early," Dee ratted her out. 

"Tattle tale," she affectionately teased him. "Normally I take a nap on Saturdays before Roy gets home with the kids."

"Then you ought to go rest," Slade told her, looking at his son. "I'm sure Dee can keep me company."

"I'd be glad to!" Duncan said with enthusiasm. "Tell me about Mama running you over?"

"Oh Dee, you would ask," Dinah teased him. "Alright." She kissed his forehead, then kissed Slade lightly on the lips.

Slade brushed as equally a light kiss over hers, then grinned down at his son as he started to tell the story about a tiny little black-haired beauty that'd nearly tackled him on the practice field. The small woman in question made her way into the bedroom, and took over the bed she normally shared with Roy, since he had apparently stayed with his daughter. It did not take her more than a few minutes to go to sleep, as she tried not to look the gift horse of Slade's appearance in the mouth.

* * *

Dinah took a very short nap, coming out to find Lian had gotten up and joined her 'big brother' with his Daddy. Duncan had slipped into the bedroom he shared with her and brought back his photo album, showing Slade what his Mama had collected of Slade's news. It was lying on the table near them while the three played a board game simple enough for the four year old to keep up with.

Dinah got dragged into that, and eventually into telling more stories, leading to a lot of reminiscing. Eventually, though, as Roy was getting up to go to his gig, she put her foot down. It was time for children to get baths and for Slade to go home, and that was that. Partly, she did not trust herself once they no longer had Roy in the house to be mindful of, and partly she just wanted to be sure she set boundaries, until she knew what the future held for them. She couldn't just leap into this, much as part of her wanted to. She had to think about her son first. 

Slade reached out, putting a hand on his son's shoulder to tug him in for a quick half-embrace, then got up and moved to Dinah, pulling her into his arms for a long moment. Part of him didn't want to let either of them out of his sight, afraid they would vanish again if he let go.

"I don't work until tomorrow afternoon, if you want to come by in the morning," she told him softly. She hugged him tight, leaning into his firm body for longer than she probably ought to.

"I'll do that," Slade said, just as soft, arms still wrapped close around her. She gave him a small smile, then tiptoed up and kissed him firmly, mouth closed against the urge to make it more than just a goodbye kiss.

"Go on, so I can get the kids settled."

"Alright," Slade nodded, letting her slide out of his arms to leave. What he saw as he went out of the building, then out of the neighborhood, made him tense over and over again, and if he hadn't already been worried for her, he would have been now. Once he was far enough out of the inner city that he could trust the traffic and reaching for his phone, he called Barry.

"Slade?" Barry asked, sound of a movie in the background. Iris was settled in against his side, and Slade heard her say 'hello'. "Iris says hi," Barry added unnecessarily.

"Mind company?" He only realized how clipped his voice was when it was far too late.

Barry straightened up on the couch, and Iris frowned, taking in his look. She stood and went to put coffee on; she knew that look on her husband's face. "Come on over, Slade. You know you're always welcome."

"Thanks, Bar. See you soon." He hung up, and paid attention to his driving again. But the entire way there, he was replaying what Dinah'd told him, little bits and pieces he'd coaxed out of his son...


	4. Idylls Found?

* * *

He let the truck's door slam shut as he slid out of it, and headed up the walk to Bar's place. The blond came to the door and opened it, standing just out on the porch. "You look like you could win a fight against Carter and Shay with an arm tied back," Barry said. "What the hell happened?"

"Found out why she ran," Slade replied, moving to him, hand coming up to catch his best friend's shoulder, holding on. Barry gripped his back, then pulled him into the house, guiding him to the living room, where Iris had put on some music for background noise and set out coffee just the way he liked it. 

"Hi, honey." Iris pressed up to Slade, kissing him and hugging him in greeting. Barry waited until she was done before reacquiring her, and they took their corner of the couch while Slade took his usual spot.

"So why did she run, Slade? And how did it all turn out today?" Barry asked.

"I ever see my half-brother again and I'm going to kill him, Bar."

"Wade? What does he have to do with this?" Iris asked, voicing both their curiosity.

Slade dropped his head back against the couch, hands tightened into fists against his thighs. "You know how much Wade always wanted everything I had... with me gone, I guess he saw a chance."

Barry frowned, but Iris, little reporter that she was, jumped to it first. "He went after her?" As soon as she said it, she paled. "Oh no...there was that attack that summer, the one they wouldn't name anyone in..."

"Police were dead silent on it all, thought it was just a nasty rumor," Barry added.

"Not a rumor," Slade replied, taking slow, calm breaths in order to keep from exploding the way he wanted to. "Of course the police kept it quiet; she was one of theirs."

"Tell us all of it, Slade, honey. Why didn't it all come out? Why did she run? Is that boy really yours?" Iris asked.

"Give him a chance, Iris...this has got to be hell for him," Barry chided.

"Yes, he's mine," Slade answered the last question first, then shifted, dropping his face into his hands, elbows braced on his knees as he started to tell them. "She ran... trying to protect me. She didn't know she was pregnant until just after-- She was scared about out of her mind, Wade'd threatened to make sure my Army career got killed if she said anything, and then..."

Barry and Iris listened, alternatively terrified by the idea of the story and hurting for all those involved. That Dinah had loved Slade that much, been so young and made so many, in their opinion, bad choices, yet survived it all was nothing less than astounding.

"So what now?" Barry asked gently after listening to all that Slade had learned, all that he had seen today.

"God only knows?" Slade said, looking up at his best friend. "I'm supposed to go over tomorrow morning, spend some time with her, maybe see if we can figure out what to do. He's such a smart kid, Bar, quick as he could be and she's done a hell of a job with him, but what they've been through..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"You'll just have to take it slow and easy," Iris said.

"And pray you don't need to be deployed anytime soon," Barry added in.

"Not that we wouldn't do our best to watch over them while you were," Iris quickly said in turn.

Slade gave Barry a long, _long_ look at that, and leaned over to kiss Iris's cheek gently. "Thanks, Iris. Yeah... that's all I really can do. I mean -- we're almost completely different people than we were... Then again, she seemed so much like the girl I knew, while we were talking, that it feels like I still know her. I don't know, she's just..."

"She's Dinah Lance, and she's been turning you into knots since day one," Barry said. "Of course you're both different."

"Guess you just have to get to know her again, while you get to know your son too," Iris told him gently.

Slade nodded, sighing. "Yeah. Like usual, you two're right."

"Of course we are." Iris smiled at him. "Why don't you take the spare bed, instead of going out to the base?"

"Thanks, Iris," he smiled back at her, and didn't argue. He didn't really feel like going back to the base anyway -- too many headaches waiting there. For right now, he'd just go get some sleep, and look at it in the morning.

* * *

Slade watched the woman come out of her building, having dropped their son off with Roy after the movie he had taken them to. He had stomped, hard, on his anger at learning it was the first time his son had ever gone to a theater to see a movie, putting one more black mark against his brother for what had forced Dinah into such a life.

Right now, though, all he could see was his girl, mother of his oldest child, and the first one he'd ever really loved. She was still so tiny compared to him, but so strong. He saw it in her face, her eyes, every time they argued over the direction of their lives now.

He also saw the love she still carried for him in her eyes, as he handed her back up into the truck. She slid across the seat, and snuggled in next to him as soon as he settled. It almost felt like high school again, heading out toward the river bluff. Him, her, the truck...the differences of the years missed and the wrong side of the banks could be dismissed for a moment, this moment.

She seemed to think he was on the right track, as he got them parked up away from the usual sites, and leaned in to kiss her. Slow and sweet, unfolding to him in every way, until they broke. Mischief danced in his gaze, answered by her own, before they slid out of the cab and went around to the tail gate. It didn't take him long at all to unroll his camping bag, or much longer for her to slide up into the tailbed. 

They both might be older, but the way they felt really hadn't changed at all. Nights like this were made for showing their love to each other, listening to the river, the stars overhead, and nothing but each other on their minds.

* * *

Adeline Kane, late Wilson, had not taken news of her ex having a son out of wedlock easily. She was due to deploy, and threatened to leave the children with her own family...but that would mean more legal battles.

Not to mention, her younger son, barely three, had burst into tears at learning he might not go to Daddy. Instead of trying to reason and fight an uphill battle on two fronts, she abided by the decision of the court, and packed them off to the small, Midwest city and the base Slade was stationed at.

While Grant viewed the strange boy at his father's side with open suspicion, Joey could only stare in shy wonder. The other boy looked like Grant, with black hair, and bigger. The words between his mother and father were polite, but he tuned them out as his almost five year old brother held his hand and they both faced the stranger.

"Hi, Grant. Joey, right? I'm Duncan, but everyone calls me 'D'."

"Hi," came from Joey, while Grant shrugged.

"Want to see inside now while your momma and Dad say good-bye?" Duncan asked, being very polite, but smiling at them both.

Joey had the feeling, just looking at that smile, it was going to be fun to have another big brother.

**Author's Note:**

> This AU ate our lives for a while. It is a SOAP OPERA, and yet I still love it. I hesitated to repost it, because we have taken it apart, used elements that we liked for other works that are not DC related, but in the end, I want it complete in one place.


End file.
